Letters

From: Jessica Monro
Sent: Sun 8 Jun 03
Subject: How Fevers Break

Really cool Sara. I esp. like 1, 3, 4, and 7. You have an eye for the sublime. Keep on clicking.
jayakali

From: Jesse Hicks
Sent: Mon 14 Jul 03
Subject: Sara Kuntz’s Photo Essay

Dear New Yinzer,

Someone with the power to do so should tell Sara Kuntz that I live in her old apartment and often receive her mail, which is sadly much more interesting than my own.

Delicious,
Jesse

From: Big Fat Bubba
Sent: Tue 22 Jul 03

Richard Simmons,

I purchased your "Sweatin' to the Oldies" videocassette, and I am returning it for the following reasons:

1. I did not sweat. I followed you as much as I could; I even bought a pair of stripey shorts to look a bit more like you. The Afro didn't work out, so I have determined that it is your hair that makes you sweat.

2. Oldies, to me, are: Pharcyde, Bell Biv Devoe, Color Me Badd, New Kids on the Block (and not that NKOTB bastardization), Rick James, even. How can one begin to sweat from the Oldies that you chose? The closest I came to it was during the shit I took after I gave up.

3. You freak me out, man.

Big Fat Bubba

P.S. Send my frickin' money so I can buy more Twinkies.

From: Chris Sichok
Date: Wed, July 30, 2003

In dismissing The Multitool as "apparently some progressive-thinking group out to change the world, but that is incidental," and calling the music on the CD "incomprehensible shreiking" and "unbearable punk music," Dwight Chambers sounds a lot more like an Old Yinzer than a New Yinzer. Actually, he sounds a lot like the reason I moved away from Pittsburgh.

Had Chambers ever seen any of the bands on the CD perform, he would realize how ridiculous his punk-equals-macho testosterone weightlifters analogy is. And actually seeing bands he writes about would make him a bona fide music critic. Likewise, had he actually visited the Multitool before writing about it, it might make him a real journalist.

But then I guess it would be too much to ask of a self-professed "pizza-lovin couch potato" to get off his ass and participate in the city around him.