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| { The Written Variety Show } Joe West
--- A quick segue and then the meat of it all --- Remembering "Stripes" incorrectly --- On the beginning of spring --- Rock stardom in Lowell, Massachusetts [Lenny plays a blues scale like Ray Charles.] Thanks Lenny. And we've got Ivan Kral on guitar. [Ivan rips a power chord.] And it will be deceased philosopher and general gadfly Jeremy Bentham on drums. [The very mummified Bentham sits motionless in a glass humidor behind a beautiful drum kit.] Thanks Jeremy. And singing backup tonight is the one, the only Carroll Shelby, the deceased racecar driver of Shelby Cobra fame. [Shelby's worm-eaten corpse lays on a microphone, spilling yellow juices onto the stage.] And I'm Slobbery Thomas Edison and we are The Partially Deceased. Enjoy the show. [They play a blistering set of mostly original numbers with a few covers such as Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls", a smattering of Springsteen classics (but not "Badlands"), and, oddly, a Sri Chinmoy raga. Bentham really kicked tail on that one.] Well, thanks for listening to us tonight. There are T-shirts and mugs for sale at the back. We'll be here all week. Goodnight folks. --- Quarter-life crisis --- Brands that you don't want --- The moral 5 --- Imagine the following --- Names for your first child --- Names of foods that do not yet exist --- Credits back. | |
squan • der • lust (skwon' d@r lust) n. 1. The state of eating large, heavily and manically-topped pizzas alone and in unfamiliar surroundings: Ever since Evan Dando moved to Lemonhead, Maine his sense of squanderlust was increased by the four Pizza Huts in delivery range. But his trailer inched closer to the grey, spit-froth sea.