I spent my only two weeks of vacation this year in Pakistan for my brother Imran's wedding, eating feasts every night, dancing and having my picture taken what seemed like hundreds of times. Weddings in Pakistan are a much larger and more extravagant affair than in America—they're also three long evenings instead of one day.
   Imran's fiancé, Amira, had her house decorated during the three days with thousands of Christmas-style lights [fig. 2]. The street was closed during the receptions and, while tents are an expensive endeavor in the States, they're commonplace in Pakistan. Driving through Pakistan during the wedding season, you see houses in almost every neighborhood donned with lights and huge tents in empty lots.
   As part of the wedding preparations, flower decorations had to be picked for the car as well as the various stages where the couple would sit [fig. 3]. The decorated car is used for taking the bride and groom away on the Barat day, followed by family and friends to the reception.
   The first day of Imran's wedding was the Nikka and Mehndi ceremonies [fig. 4]. The Nikka is the paper signing, making the marriage legal in Islamic eyes. For this, Amira sat in one room of her house, my brother in another. Each signing requires three witnesses and the Islamic cleric. This is the equivalent of saying "I do."
   After Amira signed the wedding papers, her sisters were there to offer support [fig. 5]. At this point, the house was packed with people. They had hired a camera crew, which consisted of three men with no regard for anybody else taking pictures. I also learned quickly that my cousins have no video camera sense at all. I would have liked some more planning, so angry comments and faces could have been kept to a minimum behind the scenes.
   Amira headed into the tent after the Nikka ceremony, accompanied by family and friends [fig. 6]. My brother was already waiting there, having arrived with our family. This is the Mehndi ceremony. My male cousins and I started this party by dancing to live drum music as Imran and Amira sat on a stage and looked on. I told my brother that since he's only getting married once, I'd dance in front of everybody and make a fool of myself.
   The only other consolation is the guarantee that he'll have to dance at my wedding. A few of the younger women danced after us and then we were finally able to eat.
   The second day of the wedding is the Barat day [fig. 7]. This is a reception held by the bride's family for the groom and his family. Amira's family held this in an army hall, which is frequently used for such ceremonies. Before going to the hall, I accompanied Imran and Amira as they went to a photographer to have wedding portraits taken. Amira had spent most of the afternoon in a beauty parlor, having make-up applied, her hair done and her outfit fixed. March is the wedding season in Pakistan, and the salon had to deal with twenty-five other brides getting married on the same day.
   The photography session was grueling#151;nearly two hours of posing and sitting and looking this way and that. All the while, I had to hold my brother's cell phone, wallet, hairbrush, tissue box, and glasses. At this point, my brother pointed out how I should try to get married in Pakistan: "See how much more fun this is?"
   We arrived at the hall to an army band complete with bagpipers [fig. 8]. Again there was a stage that the couple sat on and every friend and family had the chance to have their picture taken with the newlyweds. Although I was keen on taking many photos, I often had to run up on stage to be in a family picture.
   A friend who was recently married in the States told me that nobody younger than fourteen was allowed at her wedding. After seeing children run around on the stage and get in the way of everything, I understood why. Later that night I made it clear to my parents that I would have an age rule. They pointed out that many of my cousins would not be able to come. I pointed out that it would be my wedding, not theirs.
   Following the photo taking, the bride's younger siblings traditionally take the groom's shoes [fig. 9]. The groom, backed up by his brothers and male cousins, must then argue and negotiate a price to pay to get back the shoes. This is a loud and boisterous affair lasting nearly half an hour. The payout usually is split up between the sisters or cousins. Imran spent over $200 to get his shoes back, shoes that aren't even fit for cutting grass. He had fortunately been carrying a large sum of money all evening in preparation for hard bargaining.
   The last day of the wedding is the Walima ceremony, hosted by the groom for family and friends [fig. 10]. My parents held this in a banquet hall at the hotel where Amira and Imran were staying. This time, the couple arrives together, and, once again, sits on a stage and has their pictures taken several hundred times.
   After the flashbulbs ended, they cut a cake together and fed each other. I was disappointed they didn't smear the cake everywhere. Things were pretty tame. A reception followed the Walima ceremony, one that the newlyweds only appeared at briefly. After this obligation, they were completely done.
   After my brother and his wife left the reception, the rest of the families still had plenty of dancing and merry-making to do. I was dragged into dancing again, something I didn't mind since there were only a dozen people there, no cameras and only a few hours left.
   After the three days of ceremonies in Lahore, we also traveled to my father's village on a day trip [fig. 11]. There, his family hosted us with plenty of food, drink and more photo taking. Imran and Amira also had a chance to cut another cake.
   In addition to the wedding festivities, the trip to Pakistan was a typical one, which includes a lot of shopping [fig. 12]. Our family went out with Amira's family to look at rugs in the local markets. My dad and uncle discussed the merits of waiting another week [fig. 1].

fig. 2: Imran's fiancé, Amira, had her house decorated with thousands of Christmas-style lights.

fig. 3: As part of the wedding preparations, flower decorations had to be picked for the car....

fig. 4: The first day of Imran's wedding was the Nikka and Mehndi ceremonies.

fig. 5: After Amira signed the wedding papers, her sisters were there to offer support.

fig. 6: Amira headed into the tent after the Nikka ceremony, accompanied by family and friends.

fig. 7: The second day of the wedding is the Barat day.

fig. 8: We arrived at the hall to an army band complete with bagpipers.

fig. 9: Following the photo taking, the bride's younger siblings traditionally take the groom's shoes.

fig. 10: The last day of the wedding is the Walima ceremony, hosted by the groom for family and friends.

fig. 11: After the three days of ceremonies in Lahore, we also traveled to my father's village on a day trip.

fig. 12: In addition to the wedding festivities, the trip to Pakistan was a typical one, which includes a lot of shopping.

back home.