{ letters }

We enjoy mail—who doesn't?—and appreciate your correspondence. Please send us letters. And photos, good golly photos. We will print them.

Letters to The New Yinzer should be sent electronically to letters@newyinzer.com or physically through the USPS to: The New Yinzer, 315 Gross Street, Apartment Three, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15224.


From: Joy Kobe
Sent: Thu, 05 Sep 2002
Subject: Immediate Assistance

ATTN: Dear Friend,

This business proposal to you is strictly confidential, with due respect. Sorry at this perceived confusion or stress you may have receiving this letter from me, Since we have not known ourselves or met previously. Despite that, I am constrained to write you this letter because of the urgency of it.By way of self introduction, I am Mrs. Joy Kobe, the wife of late Brigadier - Gen.Maxwell Kobe former ECOMOG ARMY COMMANDER [West African peacekeeping force in Sierra Leone] who died in the Sierra Leone civil disturbance [War]. My three daughters and I are trapped in obnoxious custom and traditional norms.

We have suffered maltreatment and untold hardship in the hands of my late husband's family, simply because I did not bear a male child [heir apparent] for my late husband. By tradition, all that my late husband had, [wealth] belongs to his brothers/family. And myself is to be remarried by his immediate younger brother which I vehemently refused. They have taken all that I suffered with my husband to acquire including treasures, houses and his bank particular seized by them. I wanted to escape to the United State of America [USA} with my children on exile, but again they conspired and stole my international passport and other traveling document to further frustrate me.

Thank God, two weeks ago, I received Key Text Code [KTC} from a Security & Finance Company abroad, that my late husband deposited U.S $31.5 Million [Thirty-one Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars] cash with this company. It has therefore, become very necessary and urgent to contact someone, a foreigner like you to help me receive/secure these funds overseas in a reliable bank Account (presumably an empty Bank Account, if available) and to help invest it on our behalf as well, while we find a way of getting out to meet with you in your country.

These funds are kept on an "OPEN BENEFICIARY MANDATE" with the Security Company to avoid detection, seizure or diversion. I have had several telephone discussions with the Assistant Director of the security company, who has express willingness to help me on meeting the company's demands. This is why I have contacted you to help save my children and I, receive these funds on our behalf. But, you would need to give me sufficient assurance that if you help me, you would not divert the funds. My children and I have resolved to give you 30% of the total sum. This is all my children and I have got to live on.

Please, I have reposed my confidence in you and hope you will not disappoint me. I look forward to your urgent response, including your private phone / mobile number and also your fax number for easier communication.

NB: The secret codes (e.g Pin No., Secret Access Code) for this fund are safely kept with me which I can give you as soon as you express desire to help me.

Stay blessed.


From: Buttercup
Sent: Sun, 8 Sep 02
Subject: The Kodak Commercial

I really liked the article you had on the kodak commercial with the goth girl.Its a nice commercial, and if its not exactly parallel to the real world, well then, ok.Maybe kodak is just trying to sell cameras. I thought this was a really cool commercial, and Im glad that an article was devoted to it. I thought it was very pretty. It might not be true, but the truth is overrated. I appreciate that a commercial made a statement for once, and it was a statement I liked. I wish that it was real. I think maybe thats the point of the whole thing. That you might think that your wishes will come true with a camera. By freezing a moment on some film you can change the world to fit your dreams.Usually, it would bother me that this was a commercial that made me feel like that, but it doesnt. I feel like the people who made the commercial felt the same as me. And that makes me think that even I can change something.

Rock on,

back home.