{ letters }

We enjoy mail—who doesn't?—and appreciate your correspondence. Please send us letters. And photos, good golly photos. We will print them.

Letters to The New Yinzer should be sent electronically to letters@newyinzer.com or physically through the USPS to: The New Yinzer, 315 Gross Street, Apartment Three, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15224.


From: Gerald Bergan
Sent: Tue, 30 Jul 02
Subject: Ha! Ho! Hee!

Dear All:

Hmmm...I look in my inbox, and what do I get staring back at me? A message from my teddibly good friend, don't you know, James Maude, telling me that some old Impulse! lackeys are trying to make good withthemselves. "Hmmm," sez I, "fellow word serfs on a mission to share everything they know with the rest of America—from a decidedly Pittsburghian pre (not per-)spective." Or Philadelphian, for that matter: I love everyone in a brotherly manner, especially when it comes to throwing thinks at Santa Claus.

This is all very well and good. I'd submit to your website, but I can't at the moment. I'm too busy trying to corral my own herd of cats into my own sort of newsletter. I don't know Java from Sumatra, websites from brown recluses, but I can cut and paste like a demented kindergardner with an Elmer's fixation.

Submitted for your perusal is the latest issue of a offering I call The Cannonball Quarterly, which is a misnomer, seeing as it comes out more often than 4 times a year, which is what one would think "quarterly" means, although in this instance, they'd be wrong. Ha.

Anyway, keep it up. And as to the Oregon/Pittsburgh photo spread, funny how the same patterns in nature (man-made or formed by the Bitch herself) repeat themselves. Who knows: there's probably some jackanape with delusions of grandeur somewhere typing out the same words, only to have Rod Serling start intoning some creepy shit about alternate dimensions and ... The Twilight Zone.

Now look, I've gone and scared myself...

Gerald Bergen


Sent:Tue, 30 Jul 02
Subject: { Oh God, I Think I'm Falling }

And so, lately, I've been thinking that if I were the praying kind, I'd pray a whole hell of a lot. I'd do it with an accent, just to make it special.

i love this line. sounds like something david sedaris would say. nicesubmission. there are lots of people willing to pray for strangers.



From: B.Clifford
Sent: Wed, 31 Jul 02

Dear New Yinzer,
Your publication has reached new heights with Issue 12, particularly the piece by Gaew Samark Samboon-Siemens. Please convey my sincerest congratulations to Mr. Samark Samboon-Siemens on a thoughful and wonderfully written submission.

The masses are clamoring for more. I remain,
-B. Clifford

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