Most showers in states not immediately adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean are situated at about the 4' 6" to 5' mark, especially in motels. For those who are taller than this, you don't need to bend way backward to wash your hair. Simply turn around, face the showerhead, and bow your head, neck, and maybe even shoulders forward, placing your head into the stream of water.

Motorists in the southwestern states, including Arkansas, will slow down, and in some cases even pull off onto the shoulder, when being passed on two-lane roads with dotted yellow lines. This phenomenon is unknown on the East Coast, where most folks speed up and toss you a dirty, familiar smirk, as if to say, "Try me."

The Pacific Ocean is fucking amazing, as is Humboldt Bay in Eureka, Calif., when you think it's the Pacific Ocean.

Bugs in the middle of the country and points west stick to the front of your car and your windshield as if permanently lacquered there by a skilled craftsman. To get them off, simply using the squeegie at the gas station in the usual horizontal fashion will not do. You must wield the squeegie at a nice forceful angle with respect to the windshield, and scrub in a fervent, circular manner.

Cops in this country profile motorists, and don't think that they don't, because they do. To avoid trouble, don't be twenty-two years old in an Audi A6 with out-of-state plates going seventy-six to seventy-nine miles per hour in a 75 MPH zone.

Texas has no zoning laws, which makes it kind of gross, and bends one's fondest thoughts toward state-mandated comprehensive land use plans.

West of the Mississippi River, lots of states put high-security prisons in the immediate vicinity of major highways and thoroughfares. Just don't pick up hitchhikers. They'll have signs to remind you (the proper authorities in the relevant states, not the hitchhikers themselves), if you forget this. At first it may seem funny, but they really mean it.

If possible, drive through the redwoods of Klamath National Forest at night on U.S. Route 199 playing the first two They Might Be Giants albums, early singles, and B-sides. You will be freaked the fuck out, and it will be one of the more entitling and awe-inspiring moments of your young life. And when the signs say "Rock Slide Crew Ahead," don't disregard them simply because it's 1:00 a.m.

From western Wyoming to Omaha, Neb., is one flat, long, gradual 5,000-foot drop.

A "section" is a one-mile-by-one-mile slot of land, granted following the passage of the Homestead Act. This is why lots of roads in western states go straight ahead for miles, and then turn at right angles, because they border what is or was once someone's property.

Some drug-sniffing dogs are named "Todd".

You can find some kickass hotel/motel rooms for under $35 in this country, coast-to-coast, but either AAA Tourbooks often lie about special rates or certain establishments ignore the AAA Tourbooks.

Vegas has great deals on food. And southern Arizona is hot.

The towns named "Herndon" in this nation have a great deal in common. Cemeteries, golf courses, Van Buren Streets, and BBQ joints are but a few.

When travelling west on U.S. Route 90, get gas before you leave Del Rio.

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