Oscar Varona

“Ok. Let’s talk.

“But, where are you looking?

“At the camera.”

“Which camera?”

“The one that’s recording us. Don’t you see it?”

“There isn’t any camera!!!”

“But, isn’t this a movie about our lives?”

“Are you crazy? No! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! Are you alright?”

“Yes, I guess so. So, what’s that giraffe doing in the middle of the living room?”

“What giraffe? There isn’t any giraffe!!!”

“I think I’m getting sick.”

“Are you telling me that you can see a giraffe in the middle of the living room?”

“Don’t you?”

“No! That giraffe doesn’t exist! There’s only you and me!”

“Well, maybe you don’t exist either”

“Don’t say such bullshit!”

“It’s obvious. If the camera that I see focusing on us doesn’t exist, and the giraffe is just an optical illusion, then why aren’t you just a product of my imagination then?”

“Shit, you can touch me if you want!”

“If I believe myself, I could touch the giraffe too”

“I think I’m going to lose my temper”

“I let mine go a long time ago”

“Your temper?”

“Mmmm… something like that”

“How can you let your temper go?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. Do you have to question everything I say?”

“It’s because there’s no logic”

“Maybe. But for me, I could be talking right now with a character created by my imagination”

“You’re crazy”

“And you don’t exist”

“Say it again! Say that I don’t exist!”

“You don’t exist”

“Could anybody that doesn’t exist kick you in your balls?”



“With imagination”

“You don’t have that”

“And you don’t exist”

“Stop it! Stop saying that!”

“Excuse me, but I would like to feed the giraffe”

“Make love to me”


“Make love to me. C’mon… Fuck me”

“Now I’m convinced that you don’t exist”


“Because nobody ever told me to do that before”

“Look at me, not the camera!”

“What camera?”

“Don’t try to hide. You’re still thinking this is a movie scene!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Ok, if it’s a movie then fuck me. Here, right in front of the cameras. Let’s do a porn movie”

“I think I’ll pass”

“Don’t you find me attractive?”

“I prefer the giraffe”

“Are you afraid of talking to me? Fucking me?”

“I don’t have to be afraid of you, although I’ve heard things”

“Things? What things? Who told you things about me? You know perfectly well that there isn’t any secret between us”

“I almost don’t know you”

“What!!” We’ve been living together for ten years!!!”

“Maybe they were only ten days”

“I’m confused”

“Okay, let’s fuck!”

“No, I don’t want it now. Why don’t you go feed the giraffe?”

“It’s already gone”

“That’s a pity”

“What happens to you?”

“Nothing, I don’t know if I really exist”

“Well, let’s fuck and see”

“And if I don’t exist?”

“At least we fucked”

“Maybe all of this is a product of my imagination and not of yours”

“Do you see the camera?”


“And the policeman?”


“The old lady of the fourth floor? The mandrill? The big butterfly? The man in grey that is writing everything we’re saying?”

“No. No. No. NO!”

“Then you don’t exist”

“Let’s fuck then. Like you said, at least let’s fuck “

“Baby, you know how much I like talking to you!”

Oscar Varona is a writer but nobody thinks he is; a librarian who doesn’t feel like he’s one; a loser… of time who has published a book of short stories “Tremolo”; a weirdo who has published short stories in e-zines in Argentina and Spain. An unhealthy smoker born in Madrid (Spain) 36 years ago, who had not seen too much of the World and still fights against dumb publishers and best-seller readers.

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